Any relationship that you enter into is going to take work and commitment and there really is no “secret” to success. That being said, there are some dos and don’ts that can make or break a relationship of any kind. Teamwork may make the dream work, but it also makes a relationship work. Here are six surprising things that can make your relationship work for the better.
1. PUT YOURSELF FIRST
People who spend time bettering themselves have happier unions than those who always put their partner’s needs first. When you maintain your own interests, you have more to teach the other person and you won’t end up losing yourself. Your bond will improve because you’re adding new layers and depth to it. So men, keep up that Saturday morning basketball game going with the guys. Ladies, arrange your appointment at the nail shop for the same time. That way, when you get home, you will both feel refreshed and the two of you can better enjoy each other’s company.
2. HAVE QUICKIES
Fast sex may seem unromantic, but short bursts of passion keep you bonded because they release dopamine and oxytocin, which hare two chemicals that trigger loving feelings. It doesn’t have to be amazing every time, it just has to happen often. Stroking, cuddling, kissing, touching, all of those things relieve stress and induce feelings of desire. Never be too busy or tired for sex, initiate a quickie and you will both end up feeling better. Hug more often, kiss more often, touch more often, and just watch the sparks fly.
3. GO TO BED ANGRY
It’s okay to table a conversation and simply agree to disagree. Be sure that both parties agree on a time in the very near future to pick it back up when cooler heads will prevail. Research conducted at the University of California, San Diego, found that people often solve ongoing problems during sleep. While sleeping, the brain reshuffles memories, and introduces new ideas to come up with more effective solutions. It is okay to go to bed angry, but don’t forget to kiss each other goodnight and cuddle.
4. AVOID TOXIC FRIENDS
Research shows that if your coupled-up pals are always fighting, even if it’s irrelevant to your marriage, you are very likely to do so as well. Never discuss another couple’s problems in your bed. Say a prayer for them and come up with a game plan for how not to end up like them. It is always better to surround yourself with positive influences as individuals and as a couple and steer clear of anyone that is not 100% behind your relationship, no matter who it is.
5. UNPLUG AFTER WORK
When you’re always working, there’s no division between the office and home, which increases stress in the relationship. Take a moment to unplug after work, take a deep breath, turn on your favorite music, light a candle; do whatever de-stresses you. Happy hour is full of people unplugging, so have a cocktail, listen to some good music, set your mood, and come home happy. Even better if the two of you can meet there and then go home and unwind with each other.
6. OUTSOURCE HOUSEWORK
Mopping and laundry are necessary in any household, but studies show that men do fewer chores than women do. That feeling of being a “housemaid” can put a damper on any relationship. It’s great to agree on chore responsibility, but it can still be a bit much for one person to handle. If dirty dishes cause tension, cut back spending each week so you can hire a cleaning service, then use the newfound time you have to do something fun together. Better yet, men, surprise your woman with a Saturday off. When the service shows up at your door, take her out to dinner. I guarantee you’ll enjoy what she serves you for dessert!
Kimberley R. Jasper was raised in Jamaica Queens, New York and still describes herself as a true New Yorker through and through despite currently residing in Humble, Texas with her family. From horror fiction with a mystical twist to erotic thrillers, this author does it all with well-seasoned finesse.
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