Seven Reasons She’s not crying after break up by Kimberly R. Jasper

These days, more and more women are seeking the solace of singlehood.  They’re throwing away the mentality that they need to “settle down” by a certain age, and are perfectly happy with their single status.  Not that there is anything wrong with marriage, but it is not as necessary for a woman’s fulfillment as it was once perceived.  Many more women are coming out and admitting that they are simply happier single.  We need to stop the ideal that a woman is only happy with a man by her side, that is not true in every case.  Women are also much more inclined to walk away from a relationship that no longer serves them without the fear of being alone.  They walk into their newfound freedom with boldness and ambition.  It’s a little condescending to think that a woman can’t have true happiness unless she’s in a relationship.  There is more happiness to be found in walking away from a partnership that no longer feeds your spirit, or elevates you.  Here are just seven reasons why she’s probably not crying after the breakup.



It’s all hers, and she doesn’t have to share it with anyone.  Her house, her things, her rules.  She can “girl up” the décor if she wants to, and she doesn’t have to clean up behind anybody but herself.  A major part of every relationship is sharing, and since women are natural nurturers, we tend to do the majority of sharing and compromising.  This is a beautiful exchange if with a partner that gives as much as he takes, but every woman has her limit.  Even reciprocal giving can be exhausting.  She is creating her own space, and reclaiming her peace.  Everything she owns is hers, and that is just the way she wants it.


Her life is actually pretty awesome.  She can go where she wants, do what she wants, with who she wants, how she wants, whenever she wants to.  She doesn’t have any ties to anyone, so there’s nothing pulling on her, or tripping her up.  There is no one to answer to, so she doesn’t feel the need to ask for permission, doesn’t have to consider anyone but herself.  This is called freedom.  The ultimate goal is not to be tied or weighed down by the load of a relationship.  She simply enjoys the freedom of doing her own thing with a much lighter load.



The whole “what’s mine is ours” thing is a real downside for some women in committed relationships.  Retail therapy is the cure to many ills, and some women fear that once they start mixing credit cards and bank accounts, they will be expected to be thriftier with their spending.  No more joint accounts, no more miscellaneous expenses unless they are her own.  No more inquiries or discussions about finances, everything going in or out is all up to her.  Having her money all to herself also allows her the freedom not to have to answer for every pair of shoes or designer handbag.


What one can’t do; two or maybe even three can.  Maybe after a long marriage or relationship, she discovers that there really are 31 flavors out there, and she has only tasted two of them.  Variety is indeed the spice that adds new flavor to her single life.  On any given night, she can choose something different as if ordering her favorite take-out.  Want it a little spicy?  Order Italian.  Want it flaming hot?  Get a Rude Boy to quell that hunger.  Want a strong and bold flavor?  Order BBQ or decadent chocolate to satisfy that sweet tooth.  She can indulge in any flavor, and variety wanted, at any time she so pleases.  Tall, short, long, lean, she can have it all…and she will, if she desires.



Contrary to popular belief, not every woman wants to be married.  Just as George Clooney once vowed himself to bachelorhood, some women feel the same, but she will reserve the right to amend that if the right one to comes along.  It’s not just money that keeps Oprah from marrying Steadman; she loves and values her freedom as well.  Besides, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.  It may be hard to believe, but there are women out there that are simply more focused on their careers, children and/or themselves, so marriage is not a top priority at the moment.  Just as men have an ideal picture of what the perfect “wife” looks like, women have an ideal as well, and maybe he is not the guy to fit that, so relax.  Let go of the myth that every woman is trying to trap a man into marriage, and grasp the idea that maybe they just don’t want to trap themselves.


She greatly values the peace that comes with her life as a single woman.  She enjoys Pilates, free and holistic living, meditation, and the occasional hookah.  Balance, spiritual symmetry, inner peace, and stability are all the first things to go in a relationship for a woman with a free spirit.  The introduction of another entity into her personal space may through things off balance.  Only the right energy can maintain the balance of a healthy core.  The disruption of a demanding relationship can cause agitation, and chronic fatigue.  She now feels as if she is confined, and this greatly disturbs her inner peace.  Maybe she feels as if a relationship is jeopardizing her peaceful core, and she’s just not willing to risk it.


She really likes the idea of no strings attached.  Women are extremely sexual creatures, and we are now living in a time when it is acceptable for them explore that part of themselves.  No spending the night, no crowding her space, a call when needed, then it’s back to his own place.  No questions or forced conversations, just keep it quick and cute.  Being exclusive limits the variety of available goodies, so she may be perfectly fine with “just hooking up” and enjoying you one night at a time.


About the Author:

Kimberly2Kimberley Jasper is pursuing her Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from the University of Houston. She is currently an accomplished self-published author of three novels, with the release of her fourth being greatly anticipated. From horror fiction with a mystical twist, to erotic thrillers, she is able to do it all with well-seasoned finesse.  Kimberley gives every genre of her writing the same drive and devotion.  Formerly a public-speaker, she still mentors women of all ages with a series entitled “A Woman’s Work”.

She is a returning freelance writer for Sistah’s Place, Maya’s Blog Showcase, and formerly Urban Image Magazine.


Twitter: @mariasdghtr

IG: @krjasperwrites

Feature Photo credit:



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