Where will you be? By Toni Larue

“The Black skin is not a badge of shame by a symbol of national greatness.” -Marcus Garvey

 Imagine after a long day of work, you want to take your staff out to lunch as a thank you. After much deliberation, everyone decides on a restaurant, not too far from the office. It’s an upscale eatery so everyone is excited because it’s not often that you indulge yourself in fine dining.

There’s seven of you. You walk in and relief sweeps over you when you realize the restaurant is pretty much empty so there shouldn’t be much of a wait time.

The greeter asks you how many do you want to sit.

You smile and say seven.

There’s hesitation… “Are policy states that we cannot accommodate a party of that size,” the greeter replies.

“Ok, not a problem”, you say. “You can split us up. Four at one table and three at another. We don’t even have to be on the same side of the restaurant if you’re unable to.”

“Since we know you can in together, we still can’t seat you.”

How would you react to that response? Would you think it’s racist or would you think you’ve encountered restaurant workers who are just trying to flex their power?

I would have gone with option two. I provided a solution and instead of agreeing with my solution the restaurant employee’s rather stick to their stance than admit I have a point.

For the millionaire, Jay Morrison, he may have agreed with me until he went public about the incident and was flooded with photos of non-Black, restaurant goers, eating at that very restaurant with parties larger than his own.

Last week, real estate tycoon, Jay Morrison was refused seating at a local restaurant in Atlanta, Houston’s. The rejection turned into a full throttle boycott, with the help of rapper T.I and others. As far as I know, Houston’s was shut down for two days.

After the boycott incident, Jay Morrison appeared on my favorite, Dr Boyce Watkin’s, YouTube channel and after watching the interview, I knew this time would be different.

We are used to Black activist telling us how we should own and control, how we should buy Black and support Black business but there wasn’t a time, from what I could remember, where they actually took action on their words.

Jay Morrison mentioned a Tulsa project where he and his team of investors planning to purchase blocks of real estate and began the process of rebuilding. We’re talking Black hospital’s, Black restaurants, Black everything….

The interview went more in depth so I will post the link below:


 More and more influential Black people are speaking out in support of our Blackness.

The energy is different this time. There will be action and though it might get bad before it gets better, I am ready for the battle.

It is time that we wear our confidence and that we display to the world that we will no longer wait for opportunities but create our own.

Ladies and gentlemen…we are experiencing a historic moment…where will you be..

About Author:

author-Toni-LarueToni Larue is an author, entrepreneur and women’s empowerment advocate. She is the author of fiction novels, Abandoned Secrets (available now) and No Kissing (release date TBD), and the co-owner and COO of Team Jon Doe Management and Entertainment and Sounwave Music.




Why are we Broke, Black People? By Toni Larue

“Dr. King organized the Poor People’s Campaign in 1968 to shut down Washington, D.C. and force legislators to tackle poverty. His efforts to shift focus from civil to silver rights were interrupted by his untimely death. He fought ardently for Black rights, but he also recognized financial literacy as the key to an America that was truly free for all people”. ~John Hope Bryant

Every Black family should invest in a family business. I believe in that statement and in fact I’ve been working on making it happen. I have several independent businesses that I own with my husband but wanted to widen the opportunities.

I reached out to my family and my husband’s side of the family and the discussion I had with them led to the following article. Why are Black people broke? I received a plethora of responses to why people think our community is lacking financial prosperity. I’m going to highlight a few of those claims:

Every generation starts from scratch: Some of us are lucky to enter the world with a financial head start. It could a be trust fund, a home, stocks and bonds, a large sum of money to invest, something that gives you an edge over the rest. Unfortunately, most Black generations are forced to start from scratch because the generations before us left us with nothing.

I stumbled across this article online called, African Americans Face Financial Challenges (2013), that proposed a reason it’s difficult for Black families to get ahead. “Family responsibilities weigh heavy in the African American community.

Some 40 percent of African American households are headed by women with no partner or spouse, compared to 26 percent of female-only heads of household in the general population. On top of that, 33 percent of African American households are financially supporting children and grandchildren younger than 18, and 9 percent are supporting parents or grandparents. In the general population, only 25 percent support children younger than 18 and 4 percent support parents or grandparents” (Phipps,2013)

Lacking Financial literacy: Before you think of building generational wealth one thing to pass down is financial literacy. What good would it do to pass down a fortune to someone who doesn’t understand how money works? They will only run through the wealth you’ve acquired, leaving the generation that follows, high and dry.

Fixed Income: A fixed income isn’t just associated with people who collect social security, disability, etc… Fixed income is correlated with receiving one income from one source. In order to build generational wealth, we must acquire various streams of income (that can be passed down). It is not enough depending on a job to provide you with overtime in order to increase your income. Never allow one person or employer to control whether or not your family eats. Be in control of your earnings.

Integration and not supporting Black Business: I wrote an article a while ago about integration being the demise of Black wealth. I believe that our need to assimilate has destroyed our need to support our own people.  Psychologically, there is a lot that we must work on as a community to understand why it is hard for us to support our own people but for now seek out some Black owned businesses and support them.

“One Generation Plants the Trees; another gets the shade”. ~Chinese Proverb


Phipps, Jennie L. (May 21,2013). African Americans face financial challenges. Retrieved from http://www.bankrate.com/financing/retirement/African-americans-face-financial-challenges/

 Author bio:

Toni Larue

author-Toni-LarueToni has new novels out titled No Kissing that is available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Toni+larue+now+kissing


Photo Credits:  Multi-generational Wealth. Digital image. 4 Keys to Building Generation Wealth. October 26th, 2015. Web. April 17th, 2017.http://www.billionairebelief.com/4-keys-to-building-generational-wealth/


Is the Stock Market the new Black Market? By Toni Larue

 “Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life is: Could have, might have, and should have.

~Louis E Boone

 Growing up, I never heard my mother or grandmother talk about investing in stocks. It was something those “lucky” people did. So, I always thought that the stock market was for rich, White people.

I was introduced to the stock market my senior year of high school. I had to take Economics to graduate. My teacher, (Geesh! I can’t even remember his name) has the entire class buying and trading stocks for a whole semester.

Of course, we weren’t using real money but the experience of choosing stocks and using my fake money to purchase them and checking to see if what I chose increased or decreased every day, stimulated something inside my brain.

I wish I could say that, that experience opened my eyes to where I believed the sky was the limit…. but it didn’t. I saw the stock market as a fun challenge, a game. I saw it as a fun class project. No matter, how much I enjoyed it or understood it, in the back of my mind, it still wasn’t for someone like me.

It wasn’t until I got much older and start seeing regular people, people who looked like me actually utilizing the stock market, that it registered…hey I can do it too.

I’ve learned a lot about the stock market and I wanted to share a few tips


There are millions of stocks to choose from, some are more expensive than others but there is something for everyone. One of the major misconceptions is that you need a large sum of money to invest. That’s a lie! You can start off by investing $5 a month and increase it as you can. Sure, initially it won’t make you a millionaire but that $5 will turn in to $10, will turn in to $20. See where I’m going with this?


Do you need a stock broker? Nope! A stock broker isn’t necessary, just follow the market and use your common sense.  A man told me once, all he does is watch the parking lots. If they’re full, he buys. I wouldn’t be that relaxed about it (lol) but I saw his point. It’s common sense.

Take Home Depot stock for instance. I would buy a Home Depot stock in the winter. Why? Because the stock will be at a low-point. Once the spring and summer start rolling along those stocks will rise. Why? Because people work on their houses when the weather is better.

Investing in the stock market might seem scary. As a little girl, I was terrified of escalators until I rode on one and realized it allowed me to get to my destination faster and less out of breath. The moral of the story is we’re all scared of the unknown. Which leads me to my next tip:


Please don’t read this article and throw your hard-earned money into the stock market. Educate yourself on the different stock options available. How do you expect to make an educated decision on what stock to choose if you’re not familiar with it?

My tips for the stock market are vague and that is on purpose. I want to motivate you but you have to do the work. Explore the wonderful world of the stock market. And remember people that look us US…we invest in the stock market too.

One of the very nice things about investing in the stock market is that you learn about all different aspects of the economy. It’s your window into a very large world. ~Ron Chernow

Check out this video for more inspiration

Photo Credits

For image:Boom. Digital images. The Stock Market Boomed but Most Black People didn’t benefit. February 09th, 2017. http://financialjuneteenth.com/the-stock-market-boomed-but-most-black-people-didnt-benefit/


Author Bio:

Toni Larueauthor-Toni-Larue

Toni Larue is an author, entrepreneur and women’s empowerment advocate. She is the author of fiction novels, Abandoned Secrets (available now) and No Kissing (available now), and the co-owner and COO of Team Jon Doe Management and Entertainment and Sounwave Music.


Her newest novel is now available on amazon at



PSY-CHO-NEG-RO-SIS by Toni Larue


IS Willie Lynch Syndrome Still Prevalent going into 2017?

“I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.” ~Harriet Tubman

What is Psychonegrosis? It is the mental psychosis that blocks black progression. Mindset is an important resource in someone’s life. It is the factor between those who are successful and those who fail. What I’ve seen is that many Black people have adopted a failure mentality. A mentality that causes us to be dependent on our suppressor. A mentality that causes us to hate and kill each other. A mentality that causes us to play the victim and fail as a community.

I was talking to a client of mine, speaking on life in general: How we need more Black business owners, how Black people need to support each other and how we need to accept responsibility for the part we play in our own oppression. Once I said “we need to take responsibility” I could feel the conversation tense up. He went on to explain slavery and civil rights and racism (he must not have known who he was talking too because I’m no dummy when it comes to Black issues in America…. side eye*). Once he finished speaking I let him know that I agreed with his observation; however, there comes a point when people have to start taking responsibility for their own actions.  Once you know the cause for the behavior, you can fix it. Every Black person knows the cause but no one wants to change their behavior. Physically we are free but are minds are still enslaved as if it were 300+ years ago.

In 1712, William Lynch wrote a letter to slave owners saying “divide the blacks by skin tone and you’ll control them for 300+ years. And we have proven him right.

For the new year, I want Black people to change their mentality. I want Black people to be free of mental confinement and let us work together to achieve something GREAT. We have responsibility, not only to our ancestors who fought for us but to our children and our children’s, children. It is up to us to leave a dynasty so the ones who come after us aren’t starting over. The goal…whatever it is starts with one thing…your thoughts

For the year 2017, I am going to offer you tips on how to build generational wealth; even if you feel you don’t have the entrepreneurial spirit.  Like Dr. Boyce Watkins always says, “This is not a sprint but a marathon.” Let’s make sure we have a leg in this race.

“Just because your pain is understandable, doesn’t mean your behavior is acceptable.”

~Steven Maraboli

Contributor Author:


Toni Larue is an author, entrepreneur and women’s empowerment advocate. She is the author of fiction novels, Abandoned Secrets (available now) and No Kissing (release date TBD), and the co-owner and COO of Team Jon Doe Management and Entertainment and Sounwave Music.


Have Black’s been Trump’d? by Toni Larue

“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you down. It’s the pebble in your shoe. ~Muhammad Ali

             It took me awhile to write this article. I wanted to make sure I chose my words carefully because the topic provoked an emotional reaction from most people. Though I want to provoke thought, I do not want to offend anyone and their personal beliefs. In fact, I want this article to be inspiring and not only offer hope but encourage action among Black people. No matter how someone feels about the Presidential election, we must use that fear, anger, anxiety, and apprehension to do something about it. After many rewrites and days of contemplation, I decided to share my thoughts about our newest President elect, Donald Trump.

Just like you, I remember election day. It started off as a normal day. I had a conversation with various clients as they looked forwarded to casting their votes. One client in particular asked me if I was going to vote. My answer…” No!”. I can still see the puzzled look in her eyes and then she asked me why. I explained to her why I felt I had no dog in this race. I’m Black and I’m middle-class.  I went on to say that I didn’t favor either candidate so I decided not to participate in the election.

Later that night I was watching the news as the results were coming in. Many friends and family members were texting me at various points of time when it appeared that Donald Trump was winning by a landslide. I eventually fell asleep before our newest president was elected. I woke up the next morning and asked my husband who won. His response, “Trump!”. I thought about my response for brief a moment and said, “Maybe this is what Black people need to finally rise to the occasion because we’ve been comfortable for too long.”

Like with any subject, I don’t like to speak about what I do not know.  I found after Trump’s election that a lot I discovered that the people who were most upset had no ideas what his policies were. What they didn’t like were the images that were displayed on media throughout presidential campaign. Now, I will be the first to admit that Trump appears to be racist, prejudice, chauvinistic, and so on but what I cared about were his policies and what I found wasn’t bad….

I agree with most of what he “plans” to do, like:

  • Middle class tax reduction
  • Increasing federal funding for low-income (urban) schools
  • Rewrite the tax code to allow working parents to deduct from their income taxes child care and elderly dependents expenses

…to name a few but only time will tell. He has strict policies on crime and plans to heavily fund the military which is common for the Republican party.

After this election, what saddened me was the overwhelming emotional response from Black people. I received a different response from other communities. The morning after the election I went to the nail shop. Not one Korean spoke about Trump winning. For the sake of conversation, I asked the Technician who was doing my nails what he felt about it. His response justified my feelings. He said it doesn’t matter who is in office because his family (and the Korean Community) are self- sufficient. 

Exactly! I thought.

 We shouldn’t be fearful (after all, we survived Bush and Bush, Jr) but we are because we’re too reliant on the government for our success. Donald Trump’s election should be a wake-up call to all Black people. It is time to organize and create our own economy because the government will never be the savior that we keep hoping for.

 “The sooner you realize it’s never going to go back to the way it was, the sooner you will move on. ~Unknown

Photo Credits: For image: Digital image. Trump card.Publish date March 30th, 2016. Retrieved 11/12/2016 at http://innoculous.com/2016/03/trump-card/

About the Author:

Toni Larueauthor-Toni-Larue

Toni Larue is an author, entrepreneur and women’s empowerment advocate. She is the author of fiction novels, Abandoned Secrets (available now) and No Kissing (release date TBD), and the co-owner and COO of Team Jon Doe Management and Entertainment and Sounwave Music.




Protest with a purpose by Toni Larue

If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

~Lawrence J. Peter

Unity…seeing a group of people come together for a common goal. Weren’t we always told there is strength in numbers? It’s true! If people come together for the sake of liberty and justice for all, changes can be made. Protesting can a be a beautiful thing but it is important that when we come together for the purpose of invoking change, we protest with purpose.

Just like any goal, protesting can only accomplish great success when planned out. The Black community, in my opinion, suffers greatly from the lack of planning. Think about it…. You’re watching the news, or if you’re me, you’re watching YouTube and see a video titled “Another Black man Gunned Down by White Cop. You click on the video and you watch the commentary.  Your blood pressure is rising, face is getting hot and you don’t know if you want fight someone or cry.

After the video is finished you might share it with friends or talk about it among your co-workers. You find out if a local protest is happening in your area. You find one and you put it on everything that you’re going to make a difference this time.

The sun has falling and you’ve met up with hundreds, if not thousands of people , gathered downtown to protest their disgust for the latest violence against Black men and demand change. It feels good and you feel like you’re doing your part. You stand out there for hours and one by one the crowd begins to disperse. Now you’re home reflecting and think…”Now What?!”

Too many times we’re left with the feeling, “Now What?!” Protesting is only effective when followed through. Ever hear the saying, “A goal is a dream without action”? Protesting is a part of the plan; it is not the entire plan.

Below are a few things you can do so you’re not left with the feeling, “Now what?”

Plan strategic “city specific” boycotts. City specific boycotts are boycotts that target a specific city

  • Attend your city council meetings. Engaging in city council meetings in a good way to let the leaders of your city know that you’re still fighting for your cause. Don’t let them forget your face or your movement
  • Continue to raise awareness even if it seems everyone has forgotten

Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

~Doug Larson

Author Bio:

Toni Larueauthor-Toni-Larue

Toni Larue is an author, entrepreneur and women’s empowerment advocate. She is the author of fiction novels, Abandoned Secrets (available now) and No Kissing (release date TBD), and the co-owner and COO of Team Jon Doe Management and Entertainment and Sounwave Music.


BUYING BLACK-4 Way to Support Black Businesses

Booker T. Washington

“At the bottom of education, at the bottom of politics, even at the bottom of religion, there must be for our race economic independence.”

“If the Negro in the ghetto must eternally be fed by the hand that pushes him into the ghetto, he will never become strong enough to get out of the ghetto.” ~Dr. Carter G. Woodson

 It doesn’t have to be local

Though supporting local Black owned businesses will greatly improve your local economy, don’t feel restricted when it comes to purchasing things you need. Local Black owned business are expanding but we still have far to go so finding specific products might require a bit of research. Thank heaven for the internet! The internet is a great tool to find products you’re looking for that are Black owned when they are not available in your area.

 Make it a priority

Black owned businesses are not always accessible. You may have heard of the beauty supply across town or the grocery store in the other county and you’ve plans to support these businesses but you never have the time. The solution is simple…make time! Being that Black owned businesses are not a dime a dozen you have to active in seeking them out.

 Don’t be put off by a bad experience

Black owned businesses are not professional. Black owned businesses are not organize. Black owned business lack good customer service. We’ve all had separate experiences with supporting Black owned businesses, some great and some…not so great :/ but we can’t let those bad businesses deter us from supporting our people.  

 Spread the word

This one simple….spread the word about Black owned businesses whenever and whenever you can. Most Black owned businesses are small and don’t have the marketing budget like larger companies and corporations so help them out. Share their social media pages, tell you friends and family. If you have your own business build a partnership with them.

 Supporting Black owned businesses goes deeper than allowing Black dollars to circulate our community longer than fifteen minutes. When we get to the point of owning and controlling resources and becoming a viable component in America, we will start seeing respect from our counterparts, from our communities and from our government.

 “At the bottom of education, at the bottom of politics, even at the bottom of religion, there must be for our race economic independence. “Booker T. Washington

Photo Credits for Article:  For image: Digital image. black-buying-power. Publish date unknown. Retrieved September 18, 2016. http://www.grabblocal.com/our-dollars-power/

About Author:


Toni Larue is an author, entrepreneur and women’s empowerment advocate. She is the author of fiction novels, Abandoned Secrets (available now) and No Kissing (release date TBD), and the co-owner and COO of Team Jon Doe Management and Entertainment and Sounwave Music.



Is Boycotting Effective? By Toni Larue

“The majority of Negroes who took part in the year-long boycott of Montgomery’s buses were poor and untutored; but they understood the essence of the Montgomery movement; one elderly woman summed it up for the rest. When asked after several weeks of walking whether she was tired, she answered: My feet is tired, but my soul is at rest.

~Martin Luther King, Jr

 It was just over 60 years ago when a woman by the name of Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat to a White passenger on a city bus. The controversial act lead to Parks arrests and sparked the 1955 Montgomery Bus Boycotts which lasted 381 days. The 13-month protest ended with the United States ruling that segregation on public buses was unconstitutional.

We haven’t seen an impact as big as the MBB (Montgomery bus boycotts) take place in 60 years which have some people saying that boycotts are just not as effective as they once were. Is this true? Maybe! The act of boycotting isn’t what’s ineffective. I believe it’s the absence of carrying it out and the lack of productivity during and after the boycotts. Think about it. The MBB took place for 381 days. That is over a year of determination and dedication and it paid off well. The problem today is we lack the dedication and we refuse to sacrifice our temporary comfort for the greater cause.

It’s been over a month since the Alton Sterling and Philandro Castile killings. Most people were outraged and fed-up with what was happening and proclaimed to make a difference. A lot of us received text messages and emails saying boycott Target, Walmart, etc. We’ve watched videos telling us to move our money to Black owned banks. WE WERE HYPED!!!  And it lasted for about a week. Though Black owned banks seen an increase in new accounts, the journey doesn’t stop there. Just because the news isn’t talking about it, doesn’t mean we stop talking about it.  Just imagine if Blacks could unify for the greater cause for six months, one year, two years…. How amazing would that be?

Boycotting is effective if applied appropriately. It isn’t something you do as a standalone; meaning don’t JUST boycott for a few hours and spend the rest of your days doing nothing to support the cause.

Here are some tips you can do to make sure your boycott efforts are effective:

  • City specific boycotts
  • Put your money into Black owned banks
  • Support Black owned businesses

“It is easy to sit up and take notice, what is difficult is getting up and taking action.”

~Honore de Balzac

Photo Credits

For image: Digital Image.381 days. Publish date unknown. August 18th, 2016 https://aupushistory.wikispaces.com/Montgomery+Bus+Boycott



“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind…”

~Mahatma Gandhi


 With the police killings and the “ambush 7” incident that happened in Dallas, fresh on our minds, I wanted to use this blog article to address some possible solutions for the Black community to overcome these recent tragedies.

Last week, high emotions and anger roared throughout the United States from people of every race and ethnic background. The ambush 7 and the killings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile invoked a conversation amongst all people in a way that I’ve never seen before; some outraged by police brutality and others angered by the civil servants who senselessly lost their lives. Though I do not condone violence, I encourage the conversation of race and racism that these occurrences have brought forth. Because it is only through education and understanding that we will diminish bloodshed.

Many people offered their opinions on what should be done to make sure futile killings do not continue to happen. I’ve watched videos, read articles, and watch news coverage (filled with propaganda) trying to make sense of this myself. People offered much insight and as I collected my thoughts and considered the possibilities, I’ve come to the conclusion that our people are so far behind it will take a collection of multiple actions simultaneously working together to reach a point where we are respected and treated fairly by our counter-parts.

I was deeply saddened to watch videos of Black men being killed…shot down like wild animals. I was heartbroken to see a woman who just lost her boyfriend being treated like she was a criminal, handcuffed in the back seat of a police car, unable to console her four year old daughter. I’m angered that I fear for the day my Black husband is pulled over by the very people that have taken an oath to serve and protect us. I’m furious to witness the GENOCIDE of my people… my BLACK people!!!

It’s time we stop hashtagging “#Whatnow?!” and take action. Any action, no matter how small, is the step in the right direction.

Below are a several things YOU can do to be a part of the solution:


  • Boycotts
  • Supporting Black Businesses
  • Protesting with purpose
  • Controlling our images on the media

These solutions will be a part of a four part series (Boycotts, Supporting black businesses, Protesting with purpose and Controlling our images on the media)

“Until we own and control, we will continue to be door mats, waiting for our oppressor to bring us in the house, only to have them wipe their feet on us.”

~Toni Larue

Photo credits

 Digital Image. no-black-friday-for-me-630×210.jpg Publish date July 11th, 2016. July 14th, 2016 http://lastrealindians.com/boycott-black-friday-in-the-name-of-indigenous-pride-by-renee-holt/

Child Support: The Black Family’s Demise By Toni Larue

“It is easier to build strong children then to repair broken men.” `Frederick Douglas

This month’s topic is going to bring me some heat…but I’m ready. As I was doing research for my last article on Welfare and how it negatively affects the Black community, my research led me to another hot topic, child support. You’ve read right, CHILD SUPPORT! CHILD SUPPORT! CHILD SUPPORT!

Before I get started I would like to add a disclaimer: I am not mother but I do have a step-daughter who lives with me and my husband full-time and by choice we do not ask her mother for child support. So before anyone makes the assumption that I don’t I know the costs of taking care of a child, I do. In addition to my personal knowledge and on-line research I’ve also interviewed both a mother and a father (of different children) to get both sides of the story before writing this article.

Child support programs were implemented to encourage absent parents (man and woman but my focus in this article will focus on fathers) to be an active part in their children’s lives. That is what they tell us. However, these so-called programs have done the exact opposite and has caused a divide in Black communities across the United States. Child support effects many families but my focus is the effects it has on Black families…because that’s what I do (lol). Black men have a high percentage rate of having children out of wedlock. Right away, there is a divide in the family .So you can look at child support as somewhat of a punishment for not being married to your child’s mother. Some of these men take care of their children and some of them don’t. Then there comes a point where the woman feels like she needs her child’s father to do a little more and she gets the system involved and puts him on child support.  Now the systematic racism begins.

This article’s purpose isn’t to justify a man for not taking care of his child financially and emotionally. I am not giving “fathers” a way out. But let’s be real, there is an imbalance where child support is concerned. I’ve seen it too many times: A father who works two jobs, can’t afford rent so he moves in with his parents, can’t afford a vehicle so he rides the bus. He can’t afford these things, not because he is lazy and refuses to work but because child support garnishes more than half of his earnings.

Now let’s cross the fence. His child’s mother lives in a decent home, drives a nice vehicle, has designer clothes and her hair and nails are always done. His child….his child has the basic necessities. These two parents’ are in the same income brackets but are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. How is this benefiting the child? A man who cannot take care of himself is not going to feel like a man. How does he feel when he has to take the bus to pick us his child and bring that child back to his parents’ house? He feels emasculated. A man who feels like he can’t be a man in front of his child will distance himself from that child.

Let’s review another angle: The man is fed-up with child support because he cannot get ahead. He begins to have feelings of regret for having a child at all. That love turns into resentment because he cannot progress in his life. The more money he makes the more they take, not to mention the money he spends on his child when he’s there with him. So he quits his job. He’ll make more money under the table. Child support is still accruing and eventually the man loses his driver license (depending on the state). The situation escalades and he gets locked up either because of his child support or because he was involved in illegal activity to help support himself. How does this scenario help the child?

Both scenarios are true stories from the two people I interviewed. The most successful stories I’ve heard where from those parents who co-parent without bringing in the state.

In most states, child support is allocated toward housing, health insurance, food, utilities, transportation and child care. During my research, I watched a video, “Shocking Facts in the Child Support System Exposed by Breakthrough Study. The study was conducted by the University of California which reveals that household expenses do not increase by much with an addition of a child. So why are utilizes and transportation and other household expenses being calculated in child support when these said expenses are the similar prior to the child arriving?

I am not one-hundred percent against child-support but I do think it should be realigned so that it benefits all parties involved, especially the child. I also think parents collecting child support should show how the funds are distributed being that the punishment for NOT paying is so harsh. It should be mandatory for the collecting parent to show that funds were in-fact spent on the child and not residual income used for the mother to get “fancy”. Child support should also be tax-deductible. It is something to be said about a system that allows the collecting parent to collect tax-free money and receive an income tax return every year but the paying parent is taxed those same funds as earned income.

Adults should also be responsible when choosing parents for their children. If you were not raped, you made the choice to get pregnant or to impregnate someone whether it was an accident or intentional.

Regardless, of the situation women and men who are grown enough to produce children should be grown enough to take care of these children without the influence of the state. Government programs are not designed to encourage advancement, especially within Black communities. If child support takes half of a man’s earnings what other choices does he have but to drop completely of the grid or make illegal money? There is no way for him to get ahead to even put himself in the position to take better care of his child.

In the end, the most important factor is the livelihood of the child and although I am not against putting a man unwilling to care financially for his child, the system has showed that it has not and will not be an incentive for a man to play a more physical role in his child’s life. As parents, you have to ask yourself if money is more important than a father. The Black community cannot afford to turn on one another. It’s important to look at the bigger picture and realize that these programs are implemented with the objective to divide Black families.

Please stop talking about how much fathers “need to step up” without talking about how the game is rigged against them in the first place”. ~Unknown

Author Bio:

Toni Larueauthor-Toni-Larue

Toni Larue is an author, entrepreneur and women’s empowerment advocate. She is the author of fiction novels, Abandoned Secrets (available now) and No Kissing (release date TBD), and the co-owner and COO of Team Jon Doe Management and Entertainment and Sounwave Music.


Photo Credits:

 For Image:Child Support. Digital image.child-support-jail-1000×600.jpg . Publish date unknown. June 11th,2016.http://yourblackworld.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/child-support-jail-1000×600.jpg