Everyone knows that men are terrified of commitment, but it’s a little-known fact that women are as well. Most men may even think that women are always trying to trap them into marriage, and that is simply not the case. Women have just as many fears, if not more, than men do. Here are seven fears that women have when it comes to marriage.
1. HIS MOTHER
What is it about his mother that has the wife so afraid? Becoming just like her one day. Every wife wants to be her own woman, not a replica of his mother. She did her job, and now it’s time for the wife to do hers. Not simply pick up where his mother left off, but to begin a new venture with her husband by her side. Two Queen Bees cannot exist in the same hive, so he should protect his hive by allowing his wife to be the only Queen. A mother’s advice is always welcome, but it is not the law, and a wife simply needs room to find her own way.
2. THEY’LL HAVE TO BECOME INSTANT HOMEMAKERS
When the two first met, he did his own laundry, cleaned up after himself, and even prepared an occasional meal or two. Now that the Honeymoon is over, she is thrust into the “homemaker” role. No longer cleaning up after himself, no help with the dishes, or household chores, all of a sudden he is totally helpless, and a terrible housemate. The expectation that the wife will now take care of everything is unfair, she did not sign up to be Molly Maid. She just wants respect as a wife; homemaking will come naturally, and on her own terms.
3. HE WON’T FIND HER SEXY ANYMORE
Women are terrified that marriage will mean the end of sex as they know it. First thing to go is foreplay because now that sex is “in-house”, it’s guaranteed. Once she becomes the “wife”, the appeal is gone, and she will somehow morph into the role of his mother. Maybe it was the chase he was attracted to, and now that he’s caught her, the game is over…and so is the sex. Believe it or not, women want sex just as much, if not more, than men do. Foreplay is key, and as long as stays in effect, sex is on tap!
4. HE NO LONGER COMMUNICATES
He used to be very attentive, sending little notes or texts, now he hardly talks anymore. Of course marriage will bring about more issues, but they can be easily worked out with open communication. A couple should carve out time to discuss marital issues and he should try not to “hide” when she needs to discuss the bills, his mother, or any other problem that arises. It is the husband’s job to keep the peace, and all she needs is for him to listen and take action. He becomes King to her when there’s love in the castle.
5. HER DREAM GUY SHOWS UP
For those women not lucky enough to find their dream guy, the fear is that just when they marry Mr. Right, Mr. Dreamy will show up. It may sound superficial, but this is a real fear, same as the fear men have. Shake it off ladies; Mr. Dreamy is just an illusion! Your dream guy is exactly where he belongs…in your dreams. Don’t be lured by this apparition, this man only exists in Zane novels or Tyler Perry movies, depending on your preference.
6. HER SHOPPING DAYS ARE OVER
The whole “what’s mine is ours” thing is more terrifying for women than men think. Women fear that once they start mixing credit card and bank accounts, they will be expected to be thriftier with their spending. It may seem trivial to men, but retail therapy is very real, and is surely the cure to many of her ills. It also allows her a sense of freedom not to have to answer for a pair of shoes or another handbag. As long as her respective bills are paid and the house is taken care of, let the wife continue to get her shop on!
7. LOSS OF INDEPENDENCE AND EQUALITY
She used to go out all the time with her girls, now she has to “check in” or feels like she has to ask for permission to do what she used to do freely. Not that there shouldn’t be some couple courtesy given when hanging out, but women fear that their smartphone will become the new ball and chain. Friday nights with the boys are continued without question; the same courtesy should be afforded to her as well. Discuss this as a couple, choose one or two weekends for family, friends and relatives and reserve the other two for date nights and couple activities. This will help you stay connected as a couple and dispel the feeling that limitations are exclusive to the wife.
Kimberley Jasper is pursuing her Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from the University of Houston. She is currently an accomplished self-published author of three novels, with the release of her fourth being greatly anticipated. From horror fiction with a mystical twist, to erotic thrillers, she is able to do it all with well-seasoned finesse. Kimberley gives every genre of her writing the same drive and devotion. Formerly a public-speaker, she still mentors women of all ages with a series entitled “A Woman’s Work”. She is a returning freelance writer for Sistah’s Place, Maya’s Blog Showcase, and formerly Urban Image Magazine.
Feature Photo credit: http://www.healthyblackwoman.com/healthy-mind-how-avoiding-feelings-can-make-you-sick-like-having-festering-wounds/