How Do You Look at Yourself?- Simone Carter

For years I looked at myself as broken, worthless, and a failure. I continually compared myself to others around me forgetting that God made me differently than those around me. I’d look in the mirror and see someone completely useless because my life didn’t fit the usual.

My ideas on beauty and intelligence was just a sheer figure of my own imagination because I didn’t fit into what media said I was suppose to be.  Media said beauty wasn’t skin deep but how short your dress is and how big your breast is,  so I envied those who had what media idolized .  Looking in the mirror, little old me I read useless, worthless, and failure. I didn’t realize until now that I am sat apart because my beauty is more than my curves, but the beauty that will never be define by media or man alone.

 

That my beauty runs oh so skin deep and the intelligence of an intellectual woman of color flowing from me is what makes me-me. So as I stand tall in the mirror I see beauty, intelligence, creativity, and a conquer instead of what media tried feed me.

How do you look at yourself?

Six Things You cannot Change By Kimberly R. Jasper

You can huff and you can puff, but you cannot make him into something he’s not or do something he does not want to do. Maybe you wish he were a little more romantic or helped out around the house. Nagging, yelling, and pouting haven’t gotten you anywhere because you can’t make him change. He may make adjustments to his behavior if he really cares about the relationship, but ultimately, it is just an adjustment and not a change.

  1. GROW UP

If he was immature when you met him, chances are he’s going to stay that way. It goes further than him just being childish; he is actually just being himself.  He may eventually outgrow some of his playfulness, but he may never mature to full capacity.  Change may occasionally occur, but only through time and life experience, not due to any pressure from you.  If he’s too childish for you, you will be waiting a long time for him to grow up.  Leave him to his “child’s play” and find a man more suitable for your level of maturity.

 

  1. BE ATTENTIVE

He’s not ignoring you, he’s just being himself. Totally self-absorbed.  If he wasn’t very attentive when the two of you met, not even acrobatics can get him to change.  It may be no more than a symptom of relationship ADD or it may be that he is not attentive by nature and there’s not much you can do to change either of those things.  He’s not being insensitive, he’s just being himself.  A man will change on his own terms, but unless he’s innately attentive, that won’t be a change he’ll make.  Likewise, if he’s romantic at heart, he will not likely change into a bad boy at your request.

LISTEN TO YOU

Constant misunderstandings? Chances are he’s just not listening to you.  If your man simply won’t listen and you have the feeling that he just doesn’t understand you; that is something that you cannot change on command.  His lack of listening skills and/or plain disinterest is not a flaw that can be fixed; it may just be who he is.  The more you complain about him not listening, the less he listens.  It will always be his decision what change is made and this is the least likely.  Let him listen to the sound of you walking out the door.

 

  1. BE AS SUPPORTIVE AS YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

Well, let’s start with the fact that he is NOT your girlfriend, and I’m sure you don’t want him to be. If that were the case, you would just be in a relationship with your girlfriend.  Men are just not capable of using all parts of their brain at the same time, so what appears to be disinterest, or lack of empathy, is just him taking it all in.  He will more likely take a moment before responding and you will never see the “I know girl” look on his face, because he really doesn’t know.  Take this opportunity to gain a different perspective from him, then go hang out with your girlfriends and get that “girl power” pep talk and support you need.

 

  1. BE FAITHFUL

This is not at all to say that a man cannot be faithful. I am saying that you cannot make him be faithful.  If he has cheated in the past, and is unfaithful by nature, don’t take on the challenge of being the woman to make him change his ways.  That is a myth.  A man can change, but it is solely up to him, and he has to really want to.  No amount of aerobics or swinging from the chandelier is going to make him faithful when he wants to cheat.

 

  1. MARRY YOU

If a man does not want to commit, there is no way you can make him do so. Whether it be fear or just bad timing, you can’t make him move unless he wants to.  Like a stubborn old mule that refuses to drink, he would most likely just drown.  If he’s not ready, no amount of threats or ultimatums will get him ready.  A man will make that move in his own time.  Make sure that you are not waiting in vain, and that both of you remain on the same page.  If marriage is not in his plan, but it’s in yours, you might want to find someone that’s ready for marriage.

Author bio:

Kimberley R. Jasper was raised in Jamaica Queens, New York and still describes herself as a true New Yorker through and through despite currently residing in Humble, Texas with her family. From horror fiction with a mystical twist to erotic thrillers, this author does it all with well-seasoned finesse.

https://squareup.com/market/krjasperwrites

Have You discovered who you are?-Letrise Carter

Have you ever heard someone say, “Life can be beautiful, it’s what you make of it.”  Well, that statement is very true.   Usually when we discover something that we are passionate about we tend to make plans that allow us to execute and excel.  When you discover who you are, who you belong to, and who your father is then you become unstoppable.  You don’t realize that you just unlocked the key to your power, your gift, your talent, and your purpose.  The power within you does not belong to man and he or she cannot began to understand your vision, your purpose, or your passion that lives within you.  I overheard a co-worker say, people die not knowing their purpose and who they are.  Now, that is a shame to die not knowing who you are.  Would you like to find your purpose, your passion, an you?  Here are some suggestions that will help you get to know who you are.

  1. Seek God in Prayer to open you eyes and Heart
  2. Read Purpose Awakening by Toure’ Roberts http://www.toureroberts.com/
  3. Find a mentor who is doing what your heart desires to do.
  4. Take a class or shadow your mentor to learn about what you desire.
  5. Put your trust an faith in God plan for your purpose and your life.

Discovering who you are will be the best gift you could give yourself.  Once you get past your fears and struggles of who you are and where you should be in your life.  You will be a powerful force to be reckoned with.  Do you realized how blessed and gifted you are? Do you trust yourself enough to believe in the power you hold within you?  This is short and straight to the point because life is short.  You get one time to make it right.  So, are you dreaming about doing something great and just watching your life pass you by.  Step back and examine your life, your goals, and come up with a plan to first find out who you are.  If you don’t know who you are, how can you expect to discover your journey, your passion, and your purpose.

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” -Harriet Tubman

What Happened, Miss Simone?-Felicia Malone

In undergrad, I discovered that most of my favorite songs by my favorite contemporary artists were remakes. Part of my attraction to an artist is the song itself along with admiration for his/her ability to sing. I felt duped. I began this search for originality. I bought any artist I considered, ‘old school’ at my age – Al Green, Billie Holiday, Stevie Wonder.

I discovered Nina Simone in the oddest place. I heard, “I Want A Little Sugar in My Bowl,” while watching Point of No Return, a movie about a female assassin.  I chuckled at the lyrics and was curious about the voice behind the words. I hunted for the album. I found a Greatest hits CD in a little record store on Green Street. I listened intrigued by Simone’s ability to teach, as well as, entertain through song.

I first heard of a Nina Simone movie online. There was an internet uproar over the casting of Zoe Saldana as Simone is an authorized story of Simone’s life. That movie has yet to be released.  “What Happened ,Miss Simone?”   is the documentary over a decade in the making. It is the ‘truth’ Simone’s daughter, Lisa Simone, wanted the world to see. I am not a fan of ‘biopics’ told without the approval of the family. It loses credibility in my eyes. It is no more than fan fiction. On the other hand, some decry family approved biopics as painting the subject’s life in rosy colors.  “What Happened,Miss Simone?” is as raw and unapologetic as Miss Nina herself.

“What Happened, Miss Simone?” begins with a performance. It is only fitting as Nina Simone was an international performer known for her unique voice and classical piano. The story takes the viewer on an emotional progression. We grow with Nina as she goes from a little girl playing piano in church to her days at Julliard, her struggle from night club singer to international star. Then, there is the abusive marriage, the Civil Rights Movement, backlash from her activism, exodus to Liberia, resurgence in Europe, and through it all – the music. That is what I love about this story. There is so much history. Simone’s colleagues were Malcom X, Martin Luther King, Lorraine Hansberry, and Langston Hughes. Can you even imagine?

Throughout the documentary, there are excerpts of her diary that reveal her brilliance juxtaposed with her struggle with mental illness. This resonated with me as I lost a friend to mental illness. It is taboo in our culture and I was pleased to see that the writers did not shy away from revealing this about Simone.

Like Bridgette Fonda in Point of No Return, Simone was a cultural assassin. She challenged standards of beauty, the musical canon, and acceptable political activism of the time. It made her unique and beloved but it also cost her professionally.

I definitely recommend seeing “What Happened, Miss Simone?”, which is now streaming on Netflix.

Photo Source-Via Pinterest Never Say Good By courtesy article on Time.com